I’m continuing my series inspired by Cluster B Personality Disorders because messy characters make great stories. You can check out my posts (links below). So, without further ado, here’s writing antisocial personality disorder.

In this series: Classic Narcissists | Vulnerable Narcissist | Borderline Personality | Histrionic Personality | Antisocial Personality

What is Antisocial Personality Disorder (ASPD)

Antisocial personality disorder, sometimes called sociopathy, is a mental health condition in which a person consistently shows no regard for right and wrong and ignores the rights and feelings of others. People with antisocial personality disorder tend to purposely make others angry or upset and manipulate or treat others harshly or with cruel indifference. They lack remorse or do not regret their behavior.

People with antisocial personality disorder often violate the law, becoming criminals. They may lie, behave violently or impulsively, and have problems with drug and alcohol use. They have difficulty consistently meeting responsibilities related to family, work or school. (Mayo Clinic)

Antisocial personality disorder usually begins before age 15. The initial diagnosis is conduct disorder. Children with conduct disorder show a pattern of aggressive or disobedient behavior that can harm others. They may lie, steal, ignore rules or bully other children. Two behaviors that are warning signs of ASPD during childhood are setting fires and animal cruelty. (Cleveland Clinic)

Traits of Antisocial Personality

An individual with ASPD can come across as an attractive “bad boy” or “bad girl” type. Their disregard for the rules can be a turn-on and the novelty they offer can be especially seductive.

Unfortunately, this type of relationship isn’t designed for the long haul. It’s not uncommon for someone to imagine that love can change a beloved’s bad behavior, but that’s not likely to be the case for someone with ASPD. This person may initially be appealing, but they may not maintain an intimate relationship due to their inability to truly care about the feelings of another.

They tend to value relationships only as a means to reach their goals. Individuals with ASPD don’t feel guilt for their poor treatment of others; they may be frustrated if a relationship no longer gives them access to whatever it might have in the past, such as material or sexual gratification, but they don’t tolerate frustration well. When they are done with a relationship, they may just move on with no thought to what’s left behind. (Psychology Today)

Not all cases or antisocial behavior are extreme. There is a spectrum. On one end, you have people who struggle, but get married and live normal lives. On the other end, you have sociopaths and psychopaths. Of course, it’s always fun to write the more extreme behavior. Here’s a list of traits to help build your broken character.

ASPD people are prone to:

• Ignoring right and wrong
• Reckless or impulsive behavior
• Substance abuse
• Feeling angry, more powerful than others
• Repeated violation of the physical or emotional rights of others
• Telling lies to take advantage of others
• Not being sensitive to or respectful of others
• Irritability and aggression; may get into frequent fights
• Using charm or wit to manipulate others for personal gain or pleasure
• Having a sense of superiority and being extremely opinionated
• Having problems with the law, including criminal behavior
• Being hostile, aggressive, violent or threatening to others
• Feeling no guilt about harming others (no empathy)
• Doing dangerous things with no regard for the safety of self or others
• Being irresponsible and failing to fulfill work or financial responsibilities
• They are commonly known as “Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.” When a sociopath switches from Dr. Jekyll to Mr. Hyde, his victim does not see it coming.

Examples from Film & Television

• Dr. Hannibal Lecter (Anthony Hopkins) in Silence of the Lambs
• Alex DeLarge (Malcolm McDowell) Clockwork Orange
• Patrick Bateman (Christian Bale) American Psycho
• John Doe (Kevin Spacey) Se7en
• Amy Dunne (Rosamund Pike) Gone Girl

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Stages in the Relationship

1. Idealization
2. Devaluation
3. Manipulation
4. Isolation
5. Exploitation
6. Discard
7. Hoovering (sucking you back in)

What is Hoovering?

“Hoovering,” is a manipulative tactic sucks people back into destructive relationships. It can be dangerous and catastrophic if things get out of hand. Here are the signs:

1. Apologizing for past wrongs and promising to change
2. Love bombing
3. Excuses to make contact
4. Using family and friends
5. Gaslighting
6. Sudden “crisis” (medical, mental health, death of someone, threats of harm, etc.)
7. Threatening or violent behavior (smear campaign, threaten family, vandalization, physical injuries to friends or family, etc)

Read: What Is Hoovering? 7 Signs and How To Handle It (Cleveland Clinic)

How the Recipient Feels

Dating a sociopath can vary from relationship to relationship, however abuse of any kind is never excusable. Dating a sociopath can have serious consequences on your mental health and well-being. (Choosing Therapy)

Impacts of dating a sociopath include:

• Lowered self-esteem
• Discouragement
• Trauma
• Developing a mental illness
• Isolation from family and friends
• Work problems
• Depression/Anxiety/PTSD exacerbation
• Short temper
• Inability to think straight
• Difficulty making decisions

Having a healthy relationship with a sociopath is not possible due to the fluctuations of their mood and behaviors. Even if a sociopath today isn’t violent and abusive, this issue is on a spectrum of behavior so it’s not a behavior that can ever be ruled out. Oftentimes, the best option for dealing with a sociopath is to leave the relationship. (Choosing Therapy)

Do’s and Don’ts

The receiving character should definitely make some mistakes, here’s a list of what to do in real life…so, of course your character should do the opposite. Ha.

• Do not try to reform a sociopath.
• Avoid them.
• Do not express your weaknesses.
• Do not believe a sociopath. They will lie and will do so convincingly.
• Document any negative encounters/conflicts and notify others.
• Protect yourself. Put a strong invisible barrier around yourself. Don’t let them inside.
• Do not show your true emotions to a sociopath; keep a “poker face.” Any and all emotions will be used against you.
• If you must engage, turn the conversation back on them. Ask, “Are you feeling well?” Try to get away as soon as possible.
• Do not share any personal information.
• Don’t share your plans with a sociopath.
• Do not put yourself in a “one down” position; do not put yourself in a place of indebtedness to a sociopath. (Choosing Therapy)

Resources & Reference

• Antisocial Personality Disorder (Mayo Clinic)
• Antisocial Personality Disorder (ASPD) via (Cleveland Clinic)
• Antisocial Personality Disorder (Psychology Today)
• Understanding Antisocial Personality Disorder (ASPD) (Psych Central)
• 7 Signs of Antisocial Personality Disorder (Psychology Today)
• Dating a Sociopath: Signs, Impacts, & How to Respond (Choosing Therapy)
• Coping with Sociopaths (Choosing Therapy)
• 7 Sociopath Relationship Stages You Should Be Aware Of

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Cluster B Personality Disorders

This post is not intended to give any medical advice. If you think you are in an abusive relationship, please reach out for professional help. More information on Psychology Today here.

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